Do you have a drug problem? I mean an actual problem, not just your dealer is out, or cuts his product too much and then says stuff like’ “Don’t worry it’s a creeper” I mean an actual problem. Are drugs the very first thing you think of when you open your eyes in the morning/afternoon. Do you have unopened mail that you are scared to look at in case it’s a bill or a court summons? Do you find it difficult to remember all the lies? Is living without drugs beyond your comprehension? I mean what would be the point of living drug free, what would you do, who would you be? Have you tried stopping so many times you have lost any belief in your self? Have you actually stopped for a while but found life unbearable without drugs? Once an addict always an addict isn’t that what they say? Have you started to do things you said you would never do? Have all your old friends been avoiding you for some time. Perhaps you avoid them out of shame. Have you robbed people you love? Are you reading this on a stolen lap top? Do you feel like a piece of shit?
Do you feel that slowly committing suicide one fix at a time is what you deserve? Do the people you hang around with scare you, are you way out of your depth. Is there one person in your circle of friends, no sorry my mistake not friends you don’t have friends, one person in your group who is even more fucked up than you are, one person that you associate with just so you can say, “I’m not that bad”. * Do you ever go out wearing a hat? Do you think you are being followed, are you paranoid or is your phone really tapped? Do you sometimes see things out of the corner of your eye that might not be there? Spiders, rats squirrels maybe. Do you sometimes think you might be insane? Have you woken up in A & E and not known how you got there. Do you sometimes have an insatiable desire for a Kumquat? * Have you ever woken up round the back of the flats with your pockets emptied by your “friends” because they thought you were dead and wouldn’t need any of your stuff. (You may have a problem)
Has someone you know overdosed and your first thought was, I wonder where he scored, that gear must be good.
Ok so maybe not all these things apply to you yet, perhaps you are still kidding your self that things are not that bad. Perhaps you think prescription drugs don’t count. I mean how can they count they are given to you by your doctor. You’re not out scoring on the streets like some dirty junkie, but perhaps in your more lucid moments you can see more and more of these things marching steadily towards you and deep down you know something’s not right.
Well cheer up for fuck sake. I know exactly how you feel. This is the blog for you. Don’t worry I’m not a therapist a counsellor or a psychiatrist. Actually I have no medical qualifications; come to think of it I don’t have any qualifications whatsoever. I’m a comedian that used to be a dirty junkie. I’ve spent years being treated by the so-called trained professionals and most of them don’t know what they are talking about so you just might be better off reading my blog.
I’m not saying you will be, but let’s face it in the words of Bob Dylan
“When you ain’t got nothing, you got nothing to lose”
• Questions followed by an * may not be significant.